"Those masterful images because complete
Grew in pure mind, but out of what began?
A mound of refuse or the sweepings of a street,
Old kettles, old bottles, and a broken can,
Old iron, old bones, old rags, that raving slut
Who keeps the till.
Now that my ladder's gone,
I must lie down where all the ladders start
In the foul rag and bone shop of the heart."
W.B. Yeats - The Circus Animals' Desertion
Amen to that Brother William: Unemployment, taxes ( sometimes a lot of taxes!), cancer, leaking bathroom drains, cars running out of gas, cancer again, sick relatives, elderly relatives, can't get money to your grandson in Guatemala (no comment on that one!), also employment, great friends, tax refunds ( yeah right! ), oh and frozen yogurt although I don't know how they keep it so smooth and pliable when mine is a solid rock after an hour in the freezer this is supposed to be about food after all hey wait a minute why aren't you using any periods who do you think you are F. Scott Fitzgerald or James Joyce? OK, there's a period and a simple sentence. Actually it was compound because of the conjunction.
Maybe it's because it's spring or maybe it's because this is the final week in lent before Easter but I'm finding myself caught between the strong sense of my own failings and shortcomings and the feeling of freedom, forgiveness and the overwhelming assurance that anything is possible. That last thing is certainly reinforced by Amy's continued recovery. Still, I find myself strangely conflicted and wondering how I should be feeling and if I've got it right or not.
I've found it helpful to get back to the garden this past week when I've been at home. As cliched and crazy as it may sound, working in the soil has way of making you feel grounded ( no pun intended) and connected to the earth in a very real way. This is the original work of humans after all: cultivating and tilling the ground and tending the crops you've planted. Here there is no status, no social class; you get out exactly what you put in. It's really one of those great equalizers that helps to put things back in perspective.
Yeah, yeah I know this is supposed to be about food and not feature extended runs of me philosophizing about random things and not doing a very good job of it at that!
Okay, so the other side benefit of getting back to the garden is the amazing bounty that will be ready summer: a caprese salad made with luscious, sun warmed and ripened tomatoes, fresh basil, resplendent in its licoricey (Licorishy??) sweetness, fresh creamy mozzarella, Maldon flaked Sea Salt and a peppery and perfumy Olive Oil. Or heirloom purple tomatillos...well I could go on but It's already getting boring and predictable so....
Ultimately though, as this week edges toward Good Friday, I find everything I need to get up in the morning when I look ahead to Easter. So back I go to lie down where all the ladders start: in the foul rag and bone shop of the heart.
I have a lot of stuff to do.
I know that my Redeemer lives, and that in the end he will stand upon the earth. And after my skin has been destroyed, yet in my flesh I will see God; I myself will see him with my own eyes—I, and not another. How my heart yearns within me! Job 19:25-27